Life's Little Tragedies #3: "I've never..."

Do you ever get those moments in your life when you don't feel like you've done anything truly significant, whether for yourself or your fellow man, or that you've just never done any of the things you've wanted to do all your life? I'm sure we all do it from time to time, to whatever degree. Whether it's something as small as "I've never been to New York", or as life-changing as "I'll never win the lottery". We all have our dreams, our plans, our hopes, our desires. To those possible ends, there's always people that will tell you, "You can make anything happen that you truly want to happen", but let's face the facts...when you get right down to it, there's a ton of things that every one of us will never do in the span of our existance. Everyone from a lowly homeless person on the street to the President of the United States. But the cool thing here is, each one of us has our own unique experiences that craft us into the people we are, and we can say we've done things that nobody else has done, no matter how in-significant. That homeless guy will never in his life be the President of the United States...but George W. Bush will most likely never know the experience of sleeping under a blanket of stars every night, not owning a thing in the world or having to care about bills, and the only thing on his mind would be where his next meal will come from. I'm sure George is thankful he'll never know that, and I'm sure a lot of us would like to see him in that position...but the point is neither man is better than the other. Fortunes and positions don't make the man (or woman). It's the experiences we go through in life that make us individuals to be envied by others. I'd rather be like the person who's traveled the world with just the shirt on their back, and encountered every possible race of people and species of animal, than someone who's been born into money and power, and spends their entire life in a penthouse surrounded by their precious, guarded possessions.

I've never made a fortune in real estate and had my own primetime network television show...but has Donald Trump ever solved the Rubik's Cube?

I've never won an Academy Award, or even acted in a major motion picture...but has Tom Hanks ever played a horn solo in front of the parade crowd at the World's Fair?

I've never owned the definitive men's magazine and had countless, naked blondes at my beck and call...but has Hugh Hefner ever known the love of the finest woman Canada has to offer?

Those are just silly examples, but you get the point, I hope. There's no use in sitting around and fretting about all the things we've never done. Put yourself in the shoes of someone rich and famous and think about all the things they've never done, and probably never will do. You may not have their life, but then again, they don't have your life. Just because we haven't been around the moon three times and back, are our lives really so uneventful or meaningless? Think about it like that, and I'm sure you'll feel a little better...

...and if you don't, well then, get off your ass and get out there and do something! I'm free...want to go to New York?

;-)

Vanilla Coke Update

One of my look-outs has reported sighting a vending machine outside a grocery store on the west side of Indy that's apparently dispensing cans of Vanilla Coke! Knowing he would be required to further inspect any findings of this kind before returning with a report, he has informed me that upon sliding his change into the mystery machine, a can of our delicious and elusive Vanilla Coke did indeed fall out into the open air, where his eyes did behold its glistening glory. To be assured this was no illusion, he opened the can he now held in his trembling hand, raised it to his lips, and allowed the bubbly concoction to course across his tongue. He held the liquid in his mouth for what seemed an eternity, while his thoughts reveled in the realization of once again taking in this sweet, chilled nectar of the carbonated-beverage gods. When he swallowed, the vanilla goodness cascaded down his throat like a child running toward his mother's open arms. Upon coming to a rest deep within him, the drink filled his every molecule with joyous songs of homecoming, and triumphant closure to a valiant quest. He found composure enough to state, simply:

"We have found the Vanilla Coke...and it is good."

..........

Ok...so it didn't quite happen like that. He did find the Vanilla Coke, and he did drink one, but the rest is just what I imagined the experience to be. If I were to ask him, I'm sure the closest thing he would have felt to the joyous songs I mentioned would have just been a large belch. But it would have been a Vanilla Coke belch, and that alone would have made it worth the trip to the store. But since I don't know my way around that area very well, I just gave him five bucks to get me ten cans of my own.

;-)

I know...I really need to get out more.

The Search for 4th Squad

Well, I finally did it. I took the time to sit down, scan some pictures, upload them to my hosting site, and make a special page where I can reminisce about my stint in the Army, and mostly about the great guys I lost touch with over the years. My hope is for all of them to see the site, say hi, drop a couple emails, and possibly even get together again for some kind of makeshift reunion next year. Feel free to have a look at it:

http://4th-squad-blog-recon.blogspot.com

Life's Little Mysteries #1: Divorce and Dreams

Those of you that know me know that I used to be married, and also know what the circumstances were surrounding my divorce. As sure as I'm sitting here typing this out, I tell you without reservation, and with all my heart...I have absolutely no desire to be with my ex-wife, and still hate what she did to our marriage, to me, and most of all to my mother. If she were, for some reason, to come back around and indicate she might want to talk things out toward an end of possibly getting back together, I would most likely laugh in her face and show her the door without further discussion.

Having said that...why in the bloody hell do I keep dreaming about her?

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, let me set the record straight. I can tell you that these dreams are not derived from any kind of conscious longing for her on my part. In fact, I rarely think about her in any kind of "together" capacity during my waking hours, nor as I'm about to go to sleep. She couldn't be any further from my mind. I've not had any contact with her in nearly ten years. Yet, somehow, she manages to work herself into my occasional dream.

(Side note: In going back over what I've written so far and trying to keep a thought flow going, I noticed I inadvertantly left the word "not" out of the sentence "these dreams are not derived". Subconscious? Is my Freudian slip showing? Interesting. Anyway, back to the flow...)

I admit that some of these dreams are sexual. We were married, and we obviously did have a sex life. But she fooled around on me, several times. This was the main reason for our divorce, as most of you know. I also submit that the concept of one's significant other being "serviced" by someone else is known to be a turn-on for lots of people. Not everyone, but some. However, these dreams have nothing to do with other people, and never take place in the past during the time of our marriage. In fact, none of the dreams take place in any of the places we used to live or go. I actually don't know where any of these dreams take place. They simply take place in the present time, because I realize in the dream that we had been together before, we had been apart, and we're back together. There's no real joy or happiness on my part while I'm in the dream with her...it's just that I'm with her. Like I said, sometimes the dreams are sexual, but sometimes they're just everyday kinds of things happening, like we're talking or something. I couldn't even remember anything we've talked about in any of the dreams, or anything we've done. Even the sexual ones weren't anything spectacular that I would trouble myself to commit to memory. It's almost like these dreams are some kind of parallel universe that I go back and forth between, and when I show up there, I readily accept what's going on as normal and natural. Not happily accept, just readily. I say readily because I don't recall any arguing or debate about what's going on, like I don't want to be there, or having any kind of hard feelings about what happened before. I'm just there, and what's happening is happening. Kind of like when Picard first encounters Kirk in the Nexus, in the movie Star Trek: Generations. Kirk isn't supposed to be there, but it's presenting him with things that were familiar to him, and he accepts it as normal and goes about living his "life", even though none of it is real. Anyway, enough about that. I think I've gotten the point across about the dreams.

This woman is so far from my waking thoughts in the sense of any kind of reconciling or any possibility of being a couple again...ever. It's not anything I ever consider. I don't sit around and ponder "gosh, I wonder what it would be like if we got back together?" I don't want that, and I don't want her. We actually should have never gotten married in the first place, but we tried it, and it didn't work. I realize all that, and I have more than moved on. I don't know what's more disturbing: the fact that I have dreams about us being together, or that I can't seem to dream about significant others before her and since then that I actually do care about.

So...am I screwed up or what? Do I possess a secret, subconscious desire to specifically be with her again, or am I just lonely enough to want to be with somebody, that my mind sticks me with someone I was with for the longest amount of time? Do the dreams derive from wanting what could be, or merely from memories of routine familiarity?

Hopefully the latter, in both cases.

(Another side note: When I started typing out that last sentence, I almost typed the word "happily" instead of "hopefully", so if I was getting ready to say "happily the latter", then "hopefully" that's a good sign. ;-))

Life's Little Rants #7: Nothing to rant about?!?

I just noticed I haven't had much to say lately about the problems of the world, or things that piss me off, or anything like that. Is the world doing better? Not likely. Am I a happier, more carefree person? Not that either, unfortunately. Things still piss me off, I guess I've just been finding more important things to talk about...at least, things I feel are more important. I guess it's a good thing that we can talk about goofy, trivial things occasionally instead of harping on all the bad stuff. We have to appreciate the little things in life. It's the little things that keep us from going crazy in our everyday ruts and routines. Oh, I'm sure I'll find something to bitch about in good time. Hell, just by griping about nothing to rant about is a rant in itself!

Looks like everything is going to be...ok.

Interesting dining experience today...

Morgan (of the "Maniacal Missives" blog linked to your right) and I found ourselves out roadtripping a little bit today, and decided to head to an interesting eaterie he'd heard about in Danville, Indiana. It's called the Mayberry Cafe, and it's exactly what the name suggests: It's an homage to a big part of television history, the classic Andy Griffith Show. Now, I was never a huge fan of the show myself, and I admit, going in I thought I might find it a little hokey. But, I have to say, I found it a pretty enjoyable experience.

Without giving too much of the experience away, it's a very nicely kept restaurant, very homey-looking, and although the theme of the restaurant is very prevalent, it's surprisingly not shoved down your throat at all, as one might expect with a place like this. There's lots of pictures from the show and news articles on the walls (it turns out it's a very well-known and popular place...kind of a tourist attraction, if you will), they have a little display case by the cash register in the front containing all sorts of show- and restaurant-related merchandise, all the characters of the show have dishes named after them on the menu, and the television-show-of-honor is shown on several TV's placed all over the restaurant. My guess is they've recently began purchasing the DVD box sets of the show...something seemingly made especially with this establishment in mind.

What kind of restaurant story/review would this be if I didn't mention the quality of the food and the service? Well, never fear, o you seekers of fine dining fare, this place is good to go. The food was brought out quickly and was absolutely delicious, and the service (complete with smiles) was performed with the attention of people who really were glad to see you. In fact, the waitress and one of the owners of the restaurant made it a point to stop by our table and show us something they had just received in the mail from Hawaii. It was a nice gesture, and really made us feel welcome.

So, if you're ever passing through central Indiana on US 36, and find yourself even a little bit hungry, I highly recommend stopping in Danville and paying these fine people a visit. They'll take good care of you by filling your bellies with great, small-town cooking, and you get to watch some good, wholesome television while you eat. How can you go wrong with that?

And...if you think you might need further directions...just look for the police car sitting out front.

A Review: The New Coca-Cola BlaK

Well, it's here. Coca-Cola's foray into the realm of coffee-infused cola drinks. From what I've read online, Pepsi's done it already once or twice, but since I never heard of those drinks that came before, it's obvious their sales weren't what their creators had hoped for. Now it's Coke's turn. Let's take a look at it:

This is the Coca-Cola BlaK bottle. From an aesthetic standpoint, it's pretty nice-looking. Basically, it's a clear glass bottle with a designed plastic wrap shrunk around it, and a regular plastic twist-off cap. Overall, it's a good package. Eye-catching without going over the top, and if you happen to drop it, the shrinkwrap will most likely prevent glass from flying all over the place. If the picture looks a little strange, I assure you it's not stretched. This is a more slender bottle than the regular Coke bottles of the past. Another thing is the size. This is only eight (8) ounces of beverage. That's right, one measly cup. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, as the taste review will reveal shortly. Here's a comparison picture to give you an idea of how small the bottle is:

The Taste Test:

Yep. That's coffee in cola, all right. If that short sentence gives off an air of general indifference, you're not too far from the truth.

For those of you that like coffee, it's got a good scent. It basically smells like coffee. To taste it, well, it's a little bit of a shock to the system at first. Not a bad shock, just maybe like tasting something you've never tasted before, and having your brain hesitate momentarily to take it in before making a decision. My brain has decided that it's not bad. I'm not a big coffee drinker, but I do enjoy the occasional French vanilla cappucino from time to time. In fact, I used to buy the cappucino and chase it down with a Vanilla Coke, but I guess I can't do that anymore, can I? Once again, I digress.

As for the consistency and flavor, it seems to be just a tad thicker than regular Coke, and while this drink is still carbonated, it's not as carbonated as regular Coke. Maybe the thickness of the drink is just my brain mulling the concept of coffee while deciphering the whole experience...I don't know. It's actually a good mixture of cola to coffee, and neither is any stronger than the other. It goes down fairly smooth, and doesn't leave any harsh aftertaste. If anything, there's just a slight aftertaste of plain old coffee. As far as enjoying one of these quickly, like you might a cold Coke when you're extra thirsty, it's definitely not a chugging drink. This one is meant to sip or take short drinks of. This is why having only eight ounces is a good thing. One could get tired of this drink very quickly, if not taken in moderation. By the time you get to the bottom of the bottle, you're slightly relieved you made it. But don't get me wrong. It's not bad, just something that takes a little getting used to.

Obligatorily looking at the nutritional value of such a concoction, we find that, in a single serving bottle, it's not too bad. Sodium is 30mg (1% DV), total carbs (including sugars) is 12g (4% DV), calories are 45, and it has no fat. And since you probably won't be drinking more than one bottle at a time, perhaps per day (if you're so inclined), you won't need to feel guilty about taking something this odd into your body. The one thing that may be construed as bad is, this drink does contain Aspartame, so if you have a problem with that (as I'm aware lots of people do, and subsequently avoid it), then this drink may not be for you. Having said that...

Overall, I'd say Coca-Cola BlaK is a drink that I can definitely handle, and might enjoy once in a while as something of a treat...a "straying from the beaten path", as it were. I wouldn't drink it on a regular basis for two reasons: the taste, as described before, isn't bad, but is odd. People who aren't regular coffee drinkers probably won't go for it. Another reason: the price. I'm sure it's different in different areas, and I'm sure I could find it a little cheaper if I shop around, but I paid $5.99 for a four-pack. This isn't really unusual, since you see similar prices on products like Red Bull, and other specialty drinks like that. I remember back in the mid-90's being a little put off by the price of another didn't-last-too-long cola beverage, Royal Crown Draft. Now that was an excellent drink, and I would have bought that regularly...had it not been for the price of $3.50 for a four-pack. Of course, you got a little more cola in those 12-ounce bottles, as opposed to the 8-ounce bottles of Coke BlaK.

I don't think Coca-Cola BlaK is going to be around for long, and I really don't think they intended anything long-term with this one. But while it's here, I think people are going to be split right down the middle...one side will find it merely ok, as I have; while the other side won't have anything to do with it at all. But that's how it goes with consumers and the things they sell us to consume. Such is the game we play.

By the way, one good thing actually came out of this. As a result of meeting in the picture at the top of this post, my lonely can of Vanilla Coke now has a companion!

Like I said...he won't be around long.

;-)

Fun with time and dates

In a short few minutes, the time here will be 1:02:03 on 04/05/06. If the world ends, I just want everybody to know it's been nice knowing you, and see you on the other side.

However, you can look at it this way: it's already been that time in adjacent time zones heading east, so I think we might be ok.

Yep, I think we're gonna be just...(cough, gag, sputter, wheeze)

Damn! I gotta stop eating those melted cheese Shake N Bake mustard sandwiches right before I go to bed!

The Last Can

I am alone. I am all that's left. There are no more after me. I am...

...the last can of Vanilla Coke in the house.

I lead a lonely life. I watch TV...

I listen to music...

I try to enjoy the occasional snack...

I shower...

I sleep...

I shred documents...

Occasionally, I search the internet, only to see the numbers of my kind dwindling over time...

Soon, we'll all be gone. Soon, I'll not only be the last can of Vanilla Coke in the house, but the last in the entire world. I pray for the return of my brothers and sisters. Until that time, I sit and gaze out into the world and dream...

...a dream of when the world will welcome us back...

...a dream of the return of Vanilla Coke.

(sigh)